An Unconventional Matchmaker
by ToWriteLoveOnAPage
Summary: Kagome finds herself the victim of a certain scaly, two-headed stalker. Pompous Lord Sesshoumaru is not happy in the least...or is he? This story is for Velvet, curse her.
1. Chapter 1

Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Yes, it is a pity and yes, I do cry about it every day.

**Author Note: Soooo this story was inspired by drabble night and encouraged by Velvet. It's going to be a collection of drabble type things, which will hopefully mean that I can update it every few days...hopefully. It's supposed to be slightly ridiculous, and slightly romantic, and slightly just 'what the hell'. Which is what most of my stories are like anyway, lol. Well, enjoy!**

"Keh, your _friend _is back, Kagome," Inuyasha snorted, his eyes closed and his arms folded as they walked their path at a pace just a little too fast to be called leisurely.

Miroku chuckled as Sango groaned, shaking her head in a tired sort of way.

Kagome merely sighed and gave the sky an accusing look. _Again?_

She couldn't remember exactly when it had started happening, since at the time it seemed as though it were purely an accident, but it had been happening more and more as of late. Now, however, Kagome Higurashi had her suspicions that the universe was playing a very elaborate trick on her. One that she did not find funny in the least.

Neither did Sesshoumaru.

"Ah-Un, you need to stop following me," she admonished the dragon as it came trotting towards her. Both heads gave her a blank, hopeful look that said, _food? Scratchies and food? We love Kagome, we follow her everywhere...food?_

Rolling her eyes, Kagome pulled out two handfuls of baby carrots and offered them to her scaly friends. There was no use resisting ⎯ they knew she had them and they knew she would give in eventually.

"Maybe they wouldn't follow you so much if you didn't feed them, idiot," Inuyasha said, his tone gruff. He walked over to her and gave the dragon a disgusted sort of sneer.

"But they look so happy when I do," she whined. "Besides, they were following me way before I ever gave them carrots, right Ah-Un?"

Ah lifted his head and snorted at Inuyasha while Un took the opportunity to steal one of his brother's carrots.

"I wonder how long it will be before he shows up this time," Sango sighed, coming over to absentmindedly pat the giant lizard. They had figured out that the sooner they stopped moving once Ah-Un found them, the sooner its master would come to claim them. At times they were almost grateful when the dragon showed up; it forced Inuyasha to let them take a break.

"Who knows, I just hope he's in a better mood this time," Kagome grouched. "I mean, it's not _my _fault he can't keep better track of his pets."

"Miko, still your tongue," Sesshoumaru's harsh, biting tone assaulted her ears.

Beside her, Inuyasha growled.

_Ahahaha, _she thought nervously, her eyes immediately fixing on the imposing figure approaching her. _I'm so dead. Deader than dead. I'm fertilizer._

"Sesshoumaru-sama," she bowed deeply, "I, uh, didn't see you there."

"Hn," was all he said, his eyes narrowing as he grabbed Ah-Un's bridle and sharply tugged them away from the girl.

"You got your lizard, now get outta here," Inuyasha spat, stepping in front of Kagome. "I don't know why it's always followin' us, but it sure is getting on my nerves!"

"Half-breed, your existence wears on mine," he said arrogantly. And with that, he turned on his heel and led the oblivious dragon away.

The rest of the group merely shrugged and started walking once again, but Kagome lingered for a moment, watching the demon lord and her unconventional friends disappear into the distance.


	2. Chapter 2

"Mmmnaf?" Kagome mumbled sleepily, pawing at her face. What was happening? Why was her face wet...wait, what was that!

Bolting upright, the miko hit her head on something very hard and very much alive.

"Ah-Un!" she hissed, her hand rubbing her bruised forehead. "What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!

Ah merely huffed his hot breath in her face, obviously annoyed that she was such an insufferable spaz, while Un continued to lick her cheek with the vigor of cat lapping up milk.

"Ugh," the priestess quietly exclaimed, kicking off her sleeping bag and using Un's neck as leverage to pull herself up. "You guys are gonna be the death of me! Don't you two have to sleep? Because I know I do."

They simply blinked at her for a moment before sniffing innocently at her pockets.

_So that's it, huh? You just wanted a midnight snack? _She folded her arms and gave the two an impressive glare. "Well, too bad, I don't have any more carrots. You ate them all...well, Inuyasha ate the rest, but you ate a lot of them too!"

Kagome cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowing. "Speaking of Inuyasha…where is he?"

Her eyes began frantically searching the trees around their camp for her hanyou friend, but she saw no signs of him. Her heart gave an unpleasant lurch; if he was not here, there was only one other place he could be, or rather one other _person_ he could be with.

Kagome sighed dejectedly, giving the dragon in front of her a defeated sort of look. Ah-Un blinked at her for a few seconds before slumping to the ground and curling up next to her sleeping bag. Un looked at her expectantly while Ah made a grumbling sort of noise, resting his big head on his front leg.

"Well, at least now I have someone that sneaks off in the middle of the night to see me too," she smiled weakly as she climbed back into her sleeping back.

Un made a strange sound that almost sounded like a gurgling coo, as its head came to rest on the ground next to her ear.

Kagome curled around her scaly midnight companion, hoping that just this once Sesshoumaru would wait to reclaim him just a little while longer. She fell asleep scratching Ah-Un behind his ears.


	3. Chapter 3

"That thing is back?" Inuyasha's annoyed outburst woke both Kagome and the two headed dragon and her side.

Ah lifted its head and growled at the boy, to which Inuyasha responded by muttering threats at the poor head. Un simple huffed in exasperation and snuggled closer to Kagome.

"Osuwari, Inuyasha," she murmured tiredly, burying her hands in Un's thick, black mane. It was much to early for dealing with lord grump-face, the most irritable hanyou to ever have been irritated.

She heard the ever-so satisfying thud, followed by the even more satisfying curses that flew like arrows from Inuyasha's mouth, and the rustle of fabric that meant he had gotten up.

"What's _her _problem," she heard him mutter to Miroku, who sighed like a mother dealing with a particularly difficult child.

"Perhaps lady Kagome noticed your absence last night, Inuyasha," the monk told him pointedly. "We all did."

Kagome peeked over Un's head and watched as the half-demon's ears flattened against his head.

"Keh, I had to take a piss, what's it to ya?" He said defensively.

_Liar,_ Kagome thought sourly, letting her head slump back to the ground and closing her eyes. She wished for the courage to say it aloud.

"Do not lie, hanyou filth," a deep baritone said what she could not. Kagome's eyes shot open and silver hair obscured the sky above her. She sat up and wondered how Sesshoumaru had gotten to be only a few steps away from her without anyone noticing.

The only explanation she could find was that he was so powerful that he could come and go as he pleased as suddenly and as swiftly as the wind. Not even Inuyasha could sense him before he was already there.

"Why don't you mind your own business, you bastard," Inuyasha growled and drew his sword. The two brothers had not yet fought throughout this whole ordeal, and Kagome didn't really want them to start now.

"You reek of death," was all Sesshoumaru said before turning to Kagome. She 'eeped' in surprise and embarrassment as she struggled to untangle herself from her sleeping bag.

"Miko," he acknowledged with a stiff nod, something akin to amusement shining in the very corners of his eyes. Kagome played it off as a trick of the light.

"Sorry that we have to keep meeting like this," she apologized, her cheeks going read as she gave up on trying to stand. Ah-Un must have shifted in the night and now lay on half of her bedroll, effectively trapping her.

"Hn" was the only response she received as he fixed the beast next to her with a glare. Ah-Un immediately rose and lumbered over to its master, both heads drooping in a silent apology. _Sorry dad, _she imagined them saying and smiled to herself.

His pet returned, Sesshoumaru began to walk away.

"Why!" Kagome yelled after him, her question catching everyone off-guard including herself. She slapped a hand over her mouth as her brown eyes went wide as saucers.

_Kagome, there are very few things on your 'never-ever do, ever' list, and asking Sesshoumaru stupid questions is right before don't tempt Sesshoumaru into beheading you, _she told herself in disbelief.

Yet to her surprise the demon lord stopped, but Kagome's mouth could not.

"Why do Ah-Un always come to me? Why do you let them if you're just going to have to bring them back?" She questioned, her curiosity outweighing her survival instincts. _Curiosity killed the Kagome, _she couldn't help but thinking.

The demon lord stood for a long moment, his back to her, his hair waving innocently in the wind. She almost gave up hope that he would answer her, almost turned away…

"Those in this Sesshoumaru's care may do as they please," he told no one in particular. "And they are always welcome, no matter how far they stray."

Kagome felt a shiver up her spine that had nothing to do with being cold and everything to do with the eloquence with which he spoke. If she were Ah-Un, she would never leave someone so beautiful and refined for her: the clumsy, bed-headed girl who was just a little too silly to be a woman.

And as she watched the taiyoukai walk away, she had the strangest feeling that she wished she could go with them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note: **You guys are so awesome! The overwhelming support for this story that I have received amazes me. It has only been posted 3 days and already has 34 reviews and over 3,000 reads and it makes me really happy and fuzzy inside! It's times like these that I really find myself happy that I can take some obscure story out of my brain, put it into words, and have it be enjoyed by so many wonderful people. Thank you guys for your love, this chapter is for you!

P.S. I will try to update once a day, but that is a very ambitious promise (since I'm making this up as I go), so I can only say that I cannot guarantee that updates will always be that regular.

Over the next few weeks Ah-Un continued to plague Kagome's existence like a bad, very persistent rash, but if she had to be honest ⎯ and she usually was ⎯ she had grown sort of fond of the dragon...thing.

"Who's a good dragon? Who is?" She cooed, scratching the big brute's belly as it grumbled in absolute satisfaction. "You are! You are!"

Un's tongue lolled out of its mouth in a toothy grin, Ah simply closed its eyes and reveled in the attention. They were like a big puppy...sort of, which was ironic, seeing as they traveled with the biggest dog in all of Japan.

Shippou wished that he had a cool lizard-friend, but Ah-Un only had eyes for Kagome.

"I think Kirara's jealous that no one's scratching _her _belly," Shippou said, eyeing the cat mischievously. Kirara's ears flattened, her eyes widening in terror. One look at the kit and she took off running as Shippou pounced, determined to hold her down and pet her into oblivion. "Wait, come back!" He called, giving chase.

Sango eyed the two fondly, as they ran in frantic circles, and chuckled to herself. It was nice to have an afternoon to themselves; Inuyasha and Miroku had gone off to do what men do best ⎯ hunt, fish, and pee on things ⎯ and they would not be back until nightfall.

"Isn't it just so...weird?" Kagome said, bring her friend out of her internal musings. The miko continued to absentmindedly scratch the dragon, its leg twitching in the air. "I mean, I just don't understand _why_."

"Why Ah-Un visits you?" the demon slayer asked.

"Well, yeah," Kagome said, her brow furrowing.

Sango shrugged. "I have not the slightest clue, Kagome. Dragons are very rare ⎯ I have only heard stories of them as a child, though, the dragons of lore were much bigger and decidedly less tame than our friend."

"What did the stories say?" she asked, intrigued.

"Well, most legends told of terrible, evil beasts who ravaged villages and ate little children who wandered too far from home," Sango explained, finding it very hard to believe that Ah-Un were capable of any thing of the sort. "But it is the same in all tales ⎯ that dragons are fiercely loyal, incredibly manipulative, and surprisingly good judges of character. They also covet precious things, and would rather die than to give them up."

Kagome had a very unsettling image of Ah-Un sitting on top of her like some strange, fleshy pile of treasure, growling at anyone who dared come near.

"Well, none of that really explains anything," Kagome sighed, her arm finally telling her, 'no more dragon scratchies or I'm going to amputate myself and never come back.'

"Does it not?" Her friend asked, raising a brow. "Ah-Un _likes _you, Kagome. You are an exceptional person in many ways, obviously you have earned yourself an admirer."

The priestess laughed disbelievingly. "I doubt that a creature who admires Sesshoumaru would find anything to admire about me ⎯ we're nothing alike!"

"Perhaps you are more similar than you may think?" Sango offered with a shrug and a face that clearly said, 'and maybe hell has frozen over'.

Kagome slumped, letting her eyes lazily drift to the now slumbering dragon heads. "Or maybe they're just manipulating me to get something that they want...but what could a two-headed dragon want from me?"


	5. Chapter 5

"Looks like your father's here to pick you up," Kagome told Ah-Un in a mock-motherly tone when she spotted the brilliantly white-clad figure approaching in the distance. Un, who was resting his head in Kagome's lap, yawned while his brother huffed and nudged Un impatiently.

_They're like two completely different people, _Kagome mused as she watched the two heads nip and growl at each other. Ah finally caught ahold of Un's ear and forced his brother into submission.

"Now, you two play nice," she scolded as Sesshoumaru finally reached them, stopping a few feet away and looking bored and indifferent to the world and everything in it. "And be good for daddy, no eating any tasty children until you've finished your vegetables or you'll spoil your appetite. I don't want any late night calls telling me you've been misbehaving, I raised you better than that, you hear?"

_The woman has gone mad, _Sesshoumaru thought to himself, his eyes widening a fraction. Kagome caught his gaze and had the distinct impression that she was making a fool of herself, but frankly she didn't care.

"Come," the taiyoukai commanded, and the dragon immediately obeyed.

"Could I...could I walk with you for a bit?" Kagome asked hesitantly. "These three aren't much company," she expanded, thrusting a thumb at the pile of slumbering companions behind her, "and Inuyasha and Miroku won't be back for awhile."

Sesshoumaru's gaze lingered on her for a very long moment before he abruptly turned away, shrugging lightly. "Do as you wish, miko."

Translating that to, 'sure, whatever, crazy-face,' Kagome scrambled to her feet and jogged to catch up to the already retreating lord and his pet. Both Ah and Un began making excited grunting noises when they noticed her following, Un extending his head to lick her face.

"Ew! Oh, er, I mean...thanks," Kagome plastered a fake smile on her face as she wiped dragon saliva off of her cheek. It felt like a slimy fish and smelled like one too. _Awesome, _she griped.

"How come they only do that to me?" The priestess huffed. "How come I'm the only one who gets slobbered on like some- some...dragon-popsicle?"

_Dragon-popsicles, they'll set your taste buds on fire! Now miko-flavored for that extra kick, _a fake advertisement ran in her head, at which point Kagome seriously decided that she needed to rent some self-help books from the library when she got home.

Sesshoumaru glanced at her out of the corner of his golden eyes, his stare intense and unnerving until they darted back to the path in front of him. "Perhaps you taste good, miko. I, unfortunately, can neither confirm or deny this hypothesis."

Kagome's mind short circuited for a moment, the gears in her head coming to a resolute halt before painfully clanking back into motion. "Uh…" She stammered, barely catching the minute smirk on his icy lips.

_He's making fun of me! Well, two can play at that game, _Kagome thought mischievously.

Raising her arm in silent offering, the miko innocently asked, "want a lick?"


End file.
